Makeout Flashback!

There are not too many of these, but.... here is a "Makeout Flashback"
About 2 years ago i made out with a girl i met at Larry's. We were making out in my room, and I was fairly intoxicated. Suddenly, I had an idea! I told her that I always wanted to make out with someone while listening to the Chris DeBergh song "lady in Red". I had it on a mix cd, so i dug thru my shit for about 10 minutes, but I found it. I got all excited, and played the song. It is roughly about 4 minutes long, and we made out for about 4 more minutes. I then proceeded to talk about how cool it was to make out with her while listening to that song. Which basically killed the mood, and she left shortly after. Weeks later i saw her at Larry's and she was quick to mention her "new boyfriend". Oh well, at least i got to make out with a girl while listening to the song lady in red. **

** she was actually wearing a black shirt and jeans

What happens between massage and breakfast?

So, a few weeks ago i met a girl who wanted someone to pretend to be her boyfriend because there was this older, big redneck, relentlessly following her around the bar and staring at her in an uncomfortable manner. Three weeks later i see her again and joked about that guy. She informed me that he was just there and as he parted, he left her his "pleasure card". So he goes by the name of "Moose" AKA "The Pleasure Principal". If you are not creeped out by that, he will take your picture (nude), he will give you a massage (molestation), and he will make you breakfast (eggs and whiskey). My question is..... What happens between massage and breakfast?

I can't believe i overlooked this...

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A MINI FUCKING TORNADO!?!? That is almost as silly as the grim reaper!

speaking of Paperboy...

While im on the Paperboy "tip" What the fuck is up with the grim reaper????
THere are many hazards in this game, most of them are believable. You got a dog, kid on tricycle, remote control car, gate, fence, cars, sewer drains, ball.... The jackhammer guy is a stretch, but come on.... THE FUCKING GRIM REAPER!?!?

Paperboy for Nintendo, in real life

So, there is this game for nintendo called paperboy, you ride your bike down the street and deliver papers. On your way, you run into an endless amount of obstacles, many of them are realistic, but the occurences are in an unrealistic proportion. On a ride down the sidewalk, there might be a guy with a jackhammer, a frisky dog, or a ball rolling down a driveway... but not all three. Well...... today i experienced a "real life peperboy" on my way to the post office. I was on my bike riding don Mt. Pleasant, however there were a bunch of parked cars and the road is beaten up brick, so I went for the sidewalk. On a stretch of about 8 houses here is what happened. One house had a sprinkler, so i swerved out of the the way, next thing i know a little gate swings open and the mailman walked out, causing me to almost fall of my bike. I regained my balance and 2 houses later a little dog ran out of someones yard and chased me. I sped up and pedaled away. Thats when the thought crossed my mind, i just more or less road my bike thru a real life nintendo paperboy level!

came up with a new expression for a "bj" tonight

For some reason i was thinking about a new way to say blow job tonight.....

the result: Oral Johnson

if you like it, try and use it next time it is relavent

Scenes from a Car Window

As I drive around with driving students, occasionally i see something really funny. I noticed this sign on the corner of 161 and Sawmill Rd. Luckily, we were stopped at a red light so i was able to snap a picture. I did research and found out "schwetty" is not an actual golf ball company, so this was just a good old fashioned sign letter switch-a-roo.

Here is a closer look!

The Sounds of Speedway

I was in line at the Speedway on Weber Rd..... This big construction guy walks out of the restroom and yells to the cashier "Hey bubba, Im sorry man, but your little white monster is choking to death on my turd." "I couldnt find a plunger, and i gotta go back to the site." I never saw somebody frown like that cahier in my life.